Relationship Over Ego

We are all dependent on each other somehow, someway. Relationships make us stronger and give us so much power and understanding of life. It teaches us how to love, live, sacrifice, put somebody else’s needs over ours, compromise and so much more. Relationships keep us united and give us a sense of belonging. We never feel alone around these people, we feel complete and whole. 

But..

We are humans and may at times say things we never intend to say and may often lose someone in the process. We may hurt our loved ones, unintentionally..We later regret too but by then things have already broken? Shattered? 

Ego, anger, misunderstandings… something so dangerous and scary, can scar a relationship for life. The most beautiful relationship, the relationship you both valued, the relationship that was built on the foundation of trust is now fragile..One thing, one mistake, one incident can flip over our lives completely but I say and I believe that when there is true love, there is no walking away, whatever maybe the mistake or incident, it can all be fixed. Everything can be fixed! It is a long term relationship you built and now one single mistake puts your relationship at stake ? Is it worth breaking a relationship? Ask yourself!

Value the person, know and understand the person as a whole rather than being judgemental over an incident.

There are loads of factors out there that maybe responsible for breaking “Us” but we must try to be that person who values everything over materialistic things…value sentiments of people, their vulnerability, accept that mistakes are done because we are only humans..at times people don’t intend to hurt you, remember that. 

I repeat.. intentions must matter more than actions. Value the person and never give up, allow each other to fall and then encourage each other to get up and get going! Giving up is never an option! 

Goal Setting – A Task

Goal setting! Isn’t easy, right ?! 

It is a task. It is indeed one, but we can all do it. 

I did it, so can you! 

I’m no expert, but I’ll try to run you through the things that helped me plan out and attain some of my goals.

These are not really steps that you need to follow but some criteria that has to be kept in mind while you plan on setting a goal and obviously attaining it!

1. Do I have a Goal?

Having a goal set helps you think and drives your mind towards that path. This will motivate you to drive harder towards it. It will help you to put double the amount of efforts and move out of your comfort zone.

For example:

If you want to become a doctor.

So, here, your goal is to be a doctor!

How attainable that will be, we shall see that further.

2. Is my Goal achievable?

Considering the same example, 

Can I become a doctor? 

Here, you are trying to check your capabilities, a little bit of reality check!

At times, because of society we might see certain goals or professions as OUR goals but it may so happen that our interest lies in something else.

So, you can ask yourself certain questions like:

-Do I have interest in this field?

-Do I see myself as a doctor/ engineer/ businessman?

-Do I have the finance needed to attain my goal?

-Am I capable enough?

-Am I ready to take certain amount of pressure or some extra efforts, sleepless nights..maybe failures??

-Am I ready to face the consequences, incase any?

-Do I have a plan B? 

-Am I secured enough for plan B if plan A fails?

Questions like these can help you discover self and your true interests.

3. Is my Goal practical/ real? –

We all have dreams and we must not confuse them with goals. Goals are set and planned for us inorder to achieve them. We cannot be unreal and impractical about them. 

For example,

If you want to become a doctor and let’s say you have enough inorder to become one but you have absolutely no interest in medicine. This I feel is unfair to you.

Work towards what you like rather than diving yourself into an unknown profession.

Or

You may want to become a doctor, have interest in medicine but your grades aren’t up to the mark then I suppose medicine cannot be a very sensible profession to choose. Medicine isn’t easy, it requires loads of patience and hard work; cannot be taking it on a lighter note just for the sake of having a Dr. tag ahead of your name.

4. How do I achieve my Goal?

Set smaller goals inorder to reach your ultimate Goal. 

Let me make it a little easy for you by using the above example:

So, if you want to become a doctor, you will have to pass a certain grade, followed by giving certain entrance exams, in short you start off by checking the criteria to get yourself admitted to a medical college! So, here passing a certain grade is your smaller goal followed by entrance exams and then it goes on and on until one day you become a doctor!

These smaller goals are measurable and give you a sense of achievement in itself which helps you to push yourself into achieving and working twice the amount.

5. Am I taking enough credits?

After every small accomplishment, take time to appreciate your work and efforts. Whatever your goal maybe, there is struggle behind it, whether you become a doctor or a chef or any other professional for that matter. Everybody works hard and deserves a pat on the back! 

*Replace the above example with your goal and sit with it. Take time, take a piece of pen and paper, write it all down, talk to people who are experienced and may guide you through the right way.

This goal doesn’t really have to be career related, this strategy can be applied for any daily life goals you think you’ve got to reach and achieve.

So, here I did try to put it all out in an easy comprehensive way, as simplified as I could have made it. I hope this may be of some help to you because these truly helped me. 

Let me know how effective this was for you.

All the best and remember it is ok to fail and fall, what really matters is to get up and start walking and walking towards what you truly want!

social MEdia

Are you really the person you portray on your social media?? Spreading love, positivity and motivating everybody around..no doubt that’s a wonderful thing you are doing, but..have you ever taken down some time for yourself? Giving that same amount of love, care, attention and motivation to self?? Have you ever given yourself that extra credit for being selfless? For being available all the time? For being a shield for, I don’t know.. a gazillion people?! For being the voices of thousands? For being a constant? For being a punching bag? 

You need a break too my friend! You are a human! Please be a little considerate and generous towards yourself too. You don’t always have to be strong for others and stand by each and every person you come across. You don’t always have to be there for everyone every single time. 

Sometimes it is ok to let yourself be a human, allow yourself to be one! It is ok for you to have emotions, feel weak and get vulnerable. 

I don’t expect you to be honest to the whole world, I just want you to be honest to yourself! Would you do that ?? For yourself? For that amazing person who has always been there for others without a second thought! Take some time out for yourself and appreciate the good selfless work you’ve been doing all along. Be there for yourself, talk to yourself. 

Be honest to yourself and if you feel pain or loneliness or any kind of darkness, accept it but don’t let it sink in. Let it out by either ringing a friend whom you can trust or a journal or self-talking.

Wake up every single morning feeling stronger because you are true to yourself, you’ve accepted everything life wants to give you whether you like it or not!

You deserve it!

You deserve love and to be loved!

5 Ways To Regain Your Energy

Hey! Hey! Hope you are having a great day! However, I also do know that there are days where we don’t really feel ourselves, where we don’t really feel our energy! I too have had such days where I just want to be under a blanket and do absolutely nothing, just because I don’t feel myself! But! I did manage to try certain things out which helped me to get better and have less of such days and be more ME !! 

On such days, you may usually feel really low in energy, mentally drained and awful.. for at times no particular reason. This is even more annoying because if you knew the reason, you would try to fix it and be at it! So, on days where I feel really down and all negative , I do activities that help me get it all out! It can be any emotion and feeling of anxiety, sadness or any kind of disturbance that makes you feel like you’ve lost your balance in life! Some activities which in my opinion have helped me and a few extra ones which I feel may do the trick as well!

So, the very first one being,

1. Breathing –

A very obvious technique, nothing new about it..however, we still do fail at it! The right thought is important as that is the key and the trick that helps and changes everything. Breathe in and Out! Inhale in 4 times and exhale out 8 times..you can have the count as per your convenience. In a calm quiet room, sitting in a corner, just focusing on every breath and with every exhalation having a constant thought of ‘negative’ energy leaving your system.

2. Cleaning – 

Ok ! Alright, hold on, I know it sounds really mundane and I agree with you! But right now our focus is to get out our energy, our ‘negative’ energy. I did try this and it has helped me all the time! When you decide on cleaning and you get started, you are actually putting in your energy into something. Since you feel low and negativity around you, you let out this feeling of energy onto your surrounding. So, you can probably be dusting around, doing the dishes, cleaning up your closet, basically anything which may not require much of concentration but allows you to let your ‘negative’ energy leave and get out of your system. 

3. Journaling –

One of the most effective techniques of mine! Always works! This doesn’t really involve you to walk around or do anything super extra, instead, as you begin to write, you are writing about your feelings, emotions and thoughts, so it is a way to vent out your energy. I do talk about Journaling in full detail in my other blog which you can read through and try it for yourself! 

4. Gym/ Meditation/ Exercise –

Now, there are different types of people who prefer different ways of ‘feeling them selves.’ There are extreme levels – 

a. People who do a proper hard core workout, crazy cardio, and,

b. People who prefer meditation or doing some exercises on a lighter note.

You can be either and still be successful at feeling yourself wholly!! It definitely works! 

5. Get a friend –

I guess this must be the most preferred activity you would prefer of all the others! On days where you feel low, ring a friend or friends, call them over and talk it all out to them. You may prefer talking to just one person or maybe more, that is totally on your comfort level. You might want to sit with them, focus and talk about what you feel and why you feel. You may sometimes just feel better by talking because you may not need solutions but a listener, a friend to just be there for you!

These were only a few which I thought are super easy and really effective activities to start with. 

There are definitely so many more techniques and activities one can do to feel themselves better and wholly. Let me know if you try any of these and to what extent they were helpful. Ofcourse, you may initially fall multiple times and feel demotivated to begin with but always remember, determination is the key! You have to make up your mind, take that one step towards your goal and trust me you are halfway there!

Parents – A Gift in Disguise

As we grow into this world full of  ‘I am busy, catch you later’, we often forget about the things around us. We often forget of who stood by us all along, who was our constant support, who helped us reach wherever we are today. Yes! Our parents! Our beloved! No matter where you are, no matter what you do, they just never give up, do they?! Always doing the best they can, just to see you smile no matter the scars in their journey, all those hardships and sacrifices, and yet ‘This is no big deal my child’. 

Parents ! Our Strength and weakness at the same time, right ?

They are the most beautiful thing that has happened to us..they’ve made us who we are today! No complaints, no demands! They’ve always been there silently by our sides, motivating us through our lives, teaching us and helping us carve our future! 

Selfless beings who play this role of parenthood so beautifully that it often makes us feel like role modelling them when we grow up to be parents someday. There is always so much to learn from them, so much to get inspired from! They are not just parents.. they can be your friends, role models, secret keepers, protectors, motivational speakers and so much more ! They’ve always got your back, no matter what you do as a child, they never give up on you, they never stop loving you! That’s the beauty of parenthood! 

The best of everything in our lives, irreplaceable parts of our living…WE LOVE YOU! We promise to give you our best, it is our turn now to make you feel special. Waiting for the day when you say to us, ‘ Proud of you my child.’

Now or Never !!

Just do it! 

You have something to say? 

Have a confession to make?

You love someone?

You want something? Just go for it!

Don’t stop yourself from going just one more step ahead! 

Don’t stop yourself from attaining what you always wanted…from your goals to being around your special someone. You never know when it’s too late and you lose the chance to call it ‘mine’/yours! Life is too short to wait and wait, sometimes you just have to go in for it! A chance that has to be taken, a choice that has to be made..don’t wait for something to happen, just do it! 

You have to make the first move, the crucial decision, the courageous choice. One step that seems difficult to take, one step that is out of your comfort zone, one step that can change everything but this one step can also make you better, can give you the life you deserve and want, can flip over things for good. Sometimes, all you’ve got to do and take this one step, just one step and you get started, a new beginning, a new you.

When you feel it’s the right thing, it is the right thing to do! Take the chance, grab the opportunity before someone else does. It is yours, you can do it and I know you can. 

Just do it, before it’s too late..just trust yourself and go for it! It’s now or never!!

Keep Those Who Care..

Sometimes we do things, we don’t intent to do. 

Sometimes we push away people who care for us, who stood by us all along patiently, listening to everything we have to express…I understand that you need your time and space and it is ok to ask for it, but, you may also want to think about those who are your support system. Those who choose to be by your side keeping away their own battles they may have had..don’t push away these valuable parts of your life, valuable people of your life.

Don’t let go of your beautiful existence weeping over things you may have lost, instead count on the blessings..I’m sure you’ll lose count! We often have alot of amazing things going on around us but we often lose our anchor, our focus. You are a beautiful person, you deserve happiness, you deserve to be loved..don’t abandon the people who care about you and who mean the world to you in this extreme phase of feeling pain.

You maybe in pain today, you maybe hurt today but don’t push away those who are around you, wanting to help you when you feel awful. 

The reason for pain is something else but you may end up losing some really good people, some selfless beings..

Take your time… but come back!

Not ok to OK!

Well , to begin with as the title suggests ,

‘It is ok to not be ok’, heard of this? 

This clearly means that one cannot be smiling or happy all the time, we all have our reasons to feel sad or horrible about something, at times we might know the reason , at times we might not..there are many instances in life which we don’t really adapt to too well.

Here, are just a few random statements which i could think off must be habitual .

1. Sometimes IT IS OK to make the worst mistake ever…

-Because you are a human and humans tend to make mistakes and do things they never intended to do !

2. I understand that you cannot see your parents or partner or friends cry but trust me sometimes IT IS OK to cry..    

-Because sometimes the problem is just in your head and crying is helping you vent it all out !

3. IT IS ABSOLUTELY OK for a man to cry..

-Because men are humans too !

It is ok to feel completely worked up ,to feel that you have all the problems in the world ,to feel that you have no solutions..

Remember: There is a solution to every problem ,as it is rightly said, every problem comes with a solution, just like every lock has a key.

4.IT IS OK to feel sad for no reason..

-Because we are all human beings and we all do have mood swings irrespective of our age or gender. At times we just don’t want to be around people, we just want to be alone ! I see no harm there !!

5. IT IS OK to make a mistake..

-Because you can always correct yourself by not repeating it again ,by repenting, by trying to work on it!

6.IT IS OK to show that you care…

-Because if you don’t, chances are that you might lose them , lose those who value you , care for you ,love you.. so, put your “care” into words ..it is at times necessary because every human likes an assurance! 

So, here were simply a few statements which I thought I should mention are fine to come across as life experiences.There is ofcourse alot more to this, please do let me know some in the comments down below and you may never know whom your inspire.

99 less than 1 ?

Love! The most commonly spoken topic in the whole world. It is too mainstream but I don’t think we have understood the actual meaning of love. What is love? How would you define it? Please do let me know your views. Well, I will try to share what and how I define love.

The biggest responsibility is to love. It has all the heavy words connected to it: Loyalty, trust, belief, understanding, support, etc but in today’s world we use ‘I love you’, those three “magical” words, as if it is a joke. It is so commonly used that the actual value of ‘I love you’ means nothing any more. We use these words sometimes to express our feelings towards a best friend whether male or female, or to a partner and of course, family and friends! We can definitely differentiate the way we love, when it comes to a best friend, from the way we love our partner. But the point is, how we define the love we feel for everyone around us.

Well to me, love is the most beautiful thing in the whole world. It is the best feeling. The best of all our emotions.

When you are in love, you have the power to conquer the world no matter the situation, no matter the difficulty, no matter the problem. You never take the love you receive for granted because somebody out there is waiting for love.

If you cannot find solutions together, at least you can face the problem together… that’s the beauty of love! You are powerful even if you are just two people together fighting the world. When two people truly love each other, they need no one. Simply having each other can mean being each other’s whole world. Trust is the key to every relationship, and by relationship I mean family, siblings, friends, partner or with your parents or with anybody in the world but if there is NO TRUST, THERE IS NO LOVE. Love involves trusting someone to an extent where no third person can barge in anytime, with any possible reason, because you both are matured enough to learn the truth and most importantly understand the person because you’ve been knowing that person for maybe months now or perhaps years, so our focus should be the individual’s nature as a whole rather than one particular incident.

To make this a little more easy,

‘Let’s value someone for the 99 beautiful things s/he has done rather than the 1 thing which was possibly not so nice.’

If we talk about ages ago, love was very pure, no cruel minds, no using anybody but nowadays I feel love has become a joke. Even if it is just infactuation or mere attachment, we call it love. I am not blaming anybody because I know it maybe just an age related concern. Love is complicated. Your age does not matter. Young love can sometimes understand it better than the vintage love. Because sometimes, understanding love is understanding each other. The only thing I am pointing out is when we are matured enough to understand love (or if we so think), have we truly understood when it comes to loving? We need to be very thoughtful when it comes to grasping the actual meaning of love. We often misunderstand love and not value whom we have, so now let us try to know love, how sensitive it can be, it should be and it actually is!

Love is developing and growing together each day. Yes! That’s love…it changes everyday yet deepens every second!

How To NOT Procrastinate ?

Procrastination is something we all have done multiple times for various reasons. And it is ok to procrastinate sometimes, yes, it’s fine. However, sometimes it does start to affect your functionality and productivity. It may also make you feel low about yourself, make you feel guilty, however, there maybe few ways which can help. These were a few which I’ve tried and have helped me progress, slow and easy.

Let me try to explain them to you :

1. Just Do It –

This first thing seems absurdly impossible, but trust me, it does work! Slowly, but yes! The moment you have a task assigned to yourself, just do it at the moment, even before your mind starts to work and gives you passive thoughts of procrastination. Just get up and do it right away, plan it out and execute it! Don’t let your mind control you!!

2. Have fixed activities – 

Try to fix yourself with certain daily or weekly tasks or activities, so that you are able to start with atleast accomplishing minimal, yet important tasks, instead of marking your way towards procrastination.

3. Positive Self Talk-

Every morning when you wake up, start your day on a positive note, with a positive self talk. Stand in front of the mirror, and try to talk to yourself positively, make yourself feel good and worthy. 

For instance, 

‘I have the ability to complete my assignments and projects before the deadline, before the target time and I will do it’

Or

‘I am trying hard, it doesn’t feel easy but I am on it.’

Or

‘I can and I will.’

4. Rewards and Punishments –

Old school strategy! Always worked and yes, it did work for me too. As the name suggests, you reward yourself after accomplishment of every task and punish yourself incase of failure in the accomplishment of a task. I do have this in full detail in my other blogs, you can definitely check them out too.

5. Have a buddy –

This usually works in every case to accomplish every activity. 

You want to work out, get going to the gym, get a gymming buddy!

You want to finish a task, find a buddy with a similar task and just get started. 

This has personally helped me grow so much easily and effortlessly. Work doesn’t feel like a burden or something ‘to just get it over with’. You may end up enjoying your work.

6.Have a fixed schedule –

Procrastination may feel like a difficult habit to leave, but it is not impossible. Determination is the key. For this, you can try preparing a time table, a schedule which is prepared by your own self. You can decide the timings and the tasks to be assigned for each time slot. If you are someone who would like to try this and give it a shot, then I do have a separate blog where I’ve mentioned in full detail on how to go about preparing your own schedule step by step.

These may take time and alot of determination, start slow, no problem..as ‘Starting’ is the key. The will to bring about a change and grow..it is ok, you are only human, don’t be so harsh on yourself.

Start slow and easy, one step at a time. If I could do it, then you can too!

Please do let me know what strategies helped you through and also would really love some new recommendations!!