Keep Those Who Care..

Sometimes we do things, we don’t intent to do. 

Sometimes we push away people who care for us, who stood by us all along patiently, listening to everything we have to express…I understand that you need your time and space and it is ok to ask for it, but, you may also want to think about those who are your support system. Those who choose to be by your side keeping away their own battles they may have had..don’t push away these valuable parts of your life, valuable people of your life.

Don’t let go of your beautiful existence weeping over things you may have lost, instead count on the blessings..I’m sure you’ll lose count! We often have alot of amazing things going on around us but we often lose our anchor, our focus. You are a beautiful person, you deserve happiness, you deserve to be loved..don’t abandon the people who care about you and who mean the world to you in this extreme phase of feeling pain.

You maybe in pain today, you maybe hurt today but don’t push away those who are around you, wanting to help you when you feel awful. 

The reason for pain is something else but you may end up losing some really good people, some selfless beings..

Take your time… but come back!

Not ok to OK!

Well , to begin with as the title suggests ,

‘It is ok to not be ok’, heard of this? 

This clearly means that one cannot be smiling or happy all the time, we all have our reasons to feel sad or horrible about something, at times we might know the reason , at times we might not..there are many instances in life which we don’t really adapt to too well.

Here, are just a few random statements which i could think off must be habitual .

1. Sometimes IT IS OK to make the worst mistake ever…

-Because you are a human and humans tend to make mistakes and do things they never intended to do !

2. I understand that you cannot see your parents or partner or friends cry but trust me sometimes IT IS OK to cry..    

-Because sometimes the problem is just in your head and crying is helping you vent it all out !

3. IT IS ABSOLUTELY OK for a man to cry..

-Because men are humans too !

It is ok to feel completely worked up ,to feel that you have all the problems in the world ,to feel that you have no solutions..

Remember: There is a solution to every problem ,as it is rightly said, every problem comes with a solution, just like every lock has a key.

4.IT IS OK to feel sad for no reason..

-Because we are all human beings and we all do have mood swings irrespective of our age or gender. At times we just don’t want to be around people, we just want to be alone ! I see no harm there !!

5. IT IS OK to make a mistake..

-Because you can always correct yourself by not repeating it again ,by repenting, by trying to work on it!

6.IT IS OK to show that you care…

-Because if you don’t, chances are that you might lose them , lose those who value you , care for you ,love you.. so, put your “care” into words ..it is at times necessary because every human likes an assurance! 

So, here were simply a few statements which I thought I should mention are fine to come across as life experiences.There is ofcourse alot more to this, please do let me know some in the comments down below and you may never know whom your inspire.

99 less than 1 ?

Love! The most commonly spoken topic in the whole world. It is too mainstream but I don’t think we have understood the actual meaning of love. What is love? How would you define it? Please do let me know your views. Well, I will try to share what and how I define love.

The biggest responsibility is to love. It has all the heavy words connected to it: Loyalty, trust, belief, understanding, support, etc but in today’s world we use ‘I love you’, those three “magical” words, as if it is a joke. It is so commonly used that the actual value of ‘I love you’ means nothing any more. We use these words sometimes to express our feelings towards a best friend whether male or female, or to a partner and of course, family and friends! We can definitely differentiate the way we love, when it comes to a best friend, from the way we love our partner. But the point is, how we define the love we feel for everyone around us.

Well to me, love is the most beautiful thing in the whole world. It is the best feeling. The best of all our emotions.

When you are in love, you have the power to conquer the world no matter the situation, no matter the difficulty, no matter the problem. You never take the love you receive for granted because somebody out there is waiting for love.

If you cannot find solutions together, at least you can face the problem together… that’s the beauty of love! You are powerful even if you are just two people together fighting the world. When two people truly love each other, they need no one. Simply having each other can mean being each other’s whole world. Trust is the key to every relationship, and by relationship I mean family, siblings, friends, partner or with your parents or with anybody in the world but if there is NO TRUST, THERE IS NO LOVE. Love involves trusting someone to an extent where no third person can barge in anytime, with any possible reason, because you both are matured enough to learn the truth and most importantly understand the person because you’ve been knowing that person for maybe months now or perhaps years, so our focus should be the individual’s nature as a whole rather than one particular incident.

To make this a little more easy,

‘Let’s value someone for the 99 beautiful things s/he has done rather than the 1 thing which was possibly not so nice.’

If we talk about ages ago, love was very pure, no cruel minds, no using anybody but nowadays I feel love has become a joke. Even if it is just infactuation or mere attachment, we call it love. I am not blaming anybody because I know it maybe just an age related concern. Love is complicated. Your age does not matter. Young love can sometimes understand it better than the vintage love. Because sometimes, understanding love is understanding each other. The only thing I am pointing out is when we are matured enough to understand love (or if we so think), have we truly understood when it comes to loving? We need to be very thoughtful when it comes to grasping the actual meaning of love. We often misunderstand love and not value whom we have, so now let us try to know love, how sensitive it can be, it should be and it actually is!

Love is developing and growing together each day. Yes! That’s love…it changes everyday yet deepens every second!

How To NOT Procrastinate ?

Procrastination is something we all have done multiple times for various reasons. And it is ok to procrastinate sometimes, yes, it’s fine. However, sometimes it does start to affect your functionality and productivity. It may also make you feel low about yourself, make you feel guilty, however, there maybe few ways which can help. These were a few which I’ve tried and have helped me progress, slow and easy.

Let me try to explain them to you :

1. Just Do It –

This first thing seems absurdly impossible, but trust me, it does work! Slowly, but yes! The moment you have a task assigned to yourself, just do it at the moment, even before your mind starts to work and gives you passive thoughts of procrastination. Just get up and do it right away, plan it out and execute it! Don’t let your mind control you!!

2. Have fixed activities – 

Try to fix yourself with certain daily or weekly tasks or activities, so that you are able to start with atleast accomplishing minimal, yet important tasks, instead of marking your way towards procrastination.

3. Positive Self Talk-

Every morning when you wake up, start your day on a positive note, with a positive self talk. Stand in front of the mirror, and try to talk to yourself positively, make yourself feel good and worthy. 

For instance, 

‘I have the ability to complete my assignments and projects before the deadline, before the target time and I will do it’

Or

‘I am trying hard, it doesn’t feel easy but I am on it.’

Or

‘I can and I will.’

4. Rewards and Punishments –

Old school strategy! Always worked and yes, it did work for me too. As the name suggests, you reward yourself after accomplishment of every task and punish yourself incase of failure in the accomplishment of a task. I do have this in full detail in my other blogs, you can definitely check them out too.

5. Have a buddy –

This usually works in every case to accomplish every activity. 

You want to work out, get going to the gym, get a gymming buddy!

You want to finish a task, find a buddy with a similar task and just get started. 

This has personally helped me grow so much easily and effortlessly. Work doesn’t feel like a burden or something ‘to just get it over with’. You may end up enjoying your work.

6.Have a fixed schedule –

Procrastination may feel like a difficult habit to leave, but it is not impossible. Determination is the key. For this, you can try preparing a time table, a schedule which is prepared by your own self. You can decide the timings and the tasks to be assigned for each time slot. If you are someone who would like to try this and give it a shot, then I do have a separate blog where I’ve mentioned in full detail on how to go about preparing your own schedule step by step.

These may take time and alot of determination, start slow, no problem..as ‘Starting’ is the key. The will to bring about a change and grow..it is ok, you are only human, don’t be so harsh on yourself.

Start slow and easy, one step at a time. If I could do it, then you can too!

Please do let me know what strategies helped you through and also would really love some new recommendations!!

You Are Doing Your Best !!

Do you remember listening to stories as a kid ? Cinderella? Snow white? Wandering away in these fairy tales..little did we know or should I say grow up until we realised, that we are living a story ourselves! Yes! The Story of Our Lives!! 

We only have this life to make it the most worthy, the most beautiful, the most amazing and interesting story of our existence! Everybody has a story to tell, every single person you come across at the station or at the mall or somewhere on the streets… everybody is trying to become a better person. Everybody is trying to win this game of life! And so are you!! You are carrying with you the most beautiful, gorgeous smile, every single day, and I am with you in that…well done!

Great going friend! Just keep going! Very good! There is one thing and only one thing I want you to always remember is that you are unique, yes you are! And I mean it! There is nobody on this planet who can claim to be you, ofcourse, you may come across people who maybe similar to you but nobody can be you! You are different! Every single person on this planet is different, totally different, which is exactly why we have battles or concerns in life which are individualized (if I have to put it that way), which exist in our lives only because we are capable of handling it in the most righteous way. Also, because we are brave enough to face it all, all by ourselves. 

You are a warrior in disguise, you have reached here today because of your determination to grow and get going! You may have had alot of turmoils and disturbances in your life, but you are here ! And you are not alone.. remember everybody, yes!! All of us are in this together, we may have our own “individualized” concerns to think through, but we are all together in this story of human existence! We all have ups and downs, it is never a clear, plain, straight path..it can never be, because that is not how life works! Imagine a life full of happiness and only happiness, there will be one point where we humans may lose the actual and the true feeling and value of happiness..now, want to try and imagine a life full of sadness??? I suppose let it just be! We have ups and downs, only so we can value what we had, have and may have…

A moment of sadness helps us to truly value happiness and teaches us life lessons, pushes us to an extent where we get out of our comfort zone and come back stronger than before! So, just keep going..all I want you to know and remember is that you are doing the best you can! You may fall multiple times but I know every single time you get up, you’ve only become stronger and powerful. You are brave!

Use Or Not Use Social Media ?

Now I know that we live in a world that runs because of technology and how it is easy to spend hours on social media just so you are updated all the time. However, I’ve come across alot of people who have had experiences where it was difficult for them to do any particular task because their mind would always demand a social media break very often.

In my opinion, it is definitely not easy to forget your mobile phones or tabs or ipads completely and just keep on working, a little break is definitely needed. 

Here, what you need to understand is that we need a balance, we need to balance out – work time and social media time. 

A few strategies that helped me gain control over my technology use which may come in handy for you guys.

1. Rewards –

Now this strategy is no new, this is a strategy that our parents have used with us since we were little – a little candy for writing A to Z. We do the same! Only difference, we replace candy with our mobile phones and A to Z with our tasks.

Let me make it a little more easier, you may have your exams coming up or maybe you have a presentation you need to prepare for and you feel absolutely demotivated to choose work or exams over your phone..you can talk to yourself and convince yourself to study or work on your presentation for an hour, only then do you allow yourself to get an access to your phone. Now, I know this is easier said than done, I understand! I hear you!! It is a little bit of a self control skill that may take time, so let’s say you start of with 15 minutes of work and then you get your reward, eventually increasing your task time which then helps to increase self control.

2.Punishment –

Obviously, as the name suggests! Haha. This is exactly the opposite, so if you do not study or work for 30 minutes, for instance, then you don’t use your phone at all. Now, I know you may still try to not punish your self but you really need to question yourself and decide what you want and if you are firm, then I promise you, you will definitely grow through this!

Here, you have it – two techniques only to start a little bit of self control, eventually mastering and learning to create a balance between work and social media time. This may take time, alot of dedication and patience, you may also feel like giving up but even if you could master 5 minutes of self control, here, you have made progress. Always remember, as someone once said slow progress is still progress.

Do let me know below how your experience was and also if you have certain other strategies as I would definitely like to try a few.

Everybody Is Trying…

I’m sure the person next to you is trying to hold up, is trying to clear up a mess, is trying to gather up all of his broken pieces, is trying not to cry, is trying even harder not to have a breakdown…life isn’t easy for them, life isn’t easy for you!

It’s unpredictable but it goes on, life goes on..every struggle has only made you a better person, taught you things that weren’t easy at first, right? If we all know that the people around us, here, at the mall, or at the station or wherever you maybe..are all having their own battles to fight and figure out..what then makes you think that you are the only one struggling through?? That you are the only loner, the only heartbroken, the only one having the “world’s biggest problem”..the problem which seems easy to you, may be a mountain filled with difficulties for someone else. 

We are all different, our problems are different, but we can unite by being considerate towards someone who got mad at you in the train for pushing him, towards someone who was rude when all you did was asked, “How are you?”…we can never wholly understand a human’s mind, their thoughts..but we can always try to ease it a little..you are not alone, you are never alone. 

We are all in this together!!

Oops! I’m Sorry..

SORRY :  A word which is very conveniently used by people for their convenience at their convenience.

Just because someone invented this word,it is very casually used.

Sorry is a responsibility which you take by apologizing for the mistake which was already done and that you won’t repeat it again. It is literally easier said than followed.

MISTAKE : An act which we don’t intend to do at times but still definitely do as we are humans and humans are bound to make mistakes.

There is nothing wrong in making mistakes because at times we do learn from them and some mistakes can be undone whereas there are some which can never be undone no matter what you do!

Ofcourse we are humans and we are bound to make mistakes ! AGREED ! BUT, the most important thing when it comes to making a mistake is REALIZATION of that mistake and the courage to accept, apologise and trying to rectify the same.

I truly believe in forgiving someone if the person has realized his or her mistake even if the person has not come up to me and said sorry or has apologized, rather feels guilty and has realized the mistake.So, realization is the key, followed by rectifying it over just hearing somebody apologize… Sorry needs to be seen in their actions!

Sorry has actually lost its value as it is so commonly used by each and everyone that sorry does not really mean anything to anyone anymore! It means that ‘ I apologize for doing xyz mistake and that I promise to not repeat it again or I will try to not repeat it again’.But we very conveniently say sorry for a particular incident and after few days or weeks or years , we are back to pavilion !

The mistakes can vary from something really worse to something as little as lying about flunking in an exam but a mistake is a mistake , whether something really serious or not.

Mistakes are something done for the first time ,something which you are unsure off, something which you did not know could lead to something unexpectedly wrong , something which was unintentionally done and it’s consequence was pretty unpleasant .The point lying in the fact that mistake is done only once , if it is done for the second time then it becomes a choice ! YES ! the first time it is a mistake but when it is repeated again ,it becomes a choice because you are already aware about it being wrong , being unpleasant ,being unacceptable ; knowing its consequence to be negative, yet if you’ve done it ,it is a choice because you chose to do so!

But remember!

Every mistake in this world can be forgiven . EVERY MISTAKE !! whether it is something really worse or something really little, every mistake can be forgiven because the most important thing is realization of the mistake I repeat!! 

Once you realize that you have done something wrong and you want to make it up to someone, that’s when it is the right time to forgive this person but if that does not happen, no apology in the world can suffice it .

Mistakes can break people, can break relationships and create a big mess but there is always a way out. True people will always stand by you no matter the mistake because one incident, one mistake is not how they define you as a person. Such individuals understand that you are a human and you never had any intentions to blew things up, instead they make things easy for you by allowing you to try, rectify and work towards being a better person.

Just a last thought to add on:

-Cowards are those who try to point out others’ mistakes when at fault because they know that they are weak and need just another excuse because accepting their mistake and apologizing and ofcourse most importantly realizing it is a courageous act and not everybody has the courage to do so.

Yes! It takes a lot of courage to first accept that you’ve made a mistake, everything else will then follow and you will find yourself at peace.

The world is a beautiful place to live in , let’s not make it ugly with our ugly hearts and grudges ,whatever it is , speak up and clear the misunderstanding.Try to value and choose relationships over ego because in the end of the day we are all dependent on each other whether you accept it or not!

Just BE !

You feel awful? You feel like crying?? You feel sad? Lonely and weak? Just let yourself be! Allow yourself and give that space for you to JUST BE! 

Be who you are! Be yourself. You are amazing and worthy. Whatever is that you feel is true and acceptable. I understand why you feel whatever is that you feel or think or do. 

Don’t stop yourself from expressing your true emotions and getting that feeling of freedom and expression. We are humans..one of the most weakest of creations when it comes to emotions and being around people. This weakness is infact honestly our biggest strength, it defines us, it defines our humanity…you just feel more human! 

Emotions are a part of us and we are supposed to be more verbal and expressive about it..journal it down or ring a friend. Do not stop yourself from verbalising your thoughts and feelings because only you alone truly know what you feel or think about something or someone. Only you alone know the reason and the exact emotion attached. Don’t let others mould your emotions or your feelings or your thoughts or you in general! You are you, just be you! 

Also, there is someone out there for sure who believes and values whatever is that you want to say, feel and express. This someone is probably already with you or you may someday find this “someone”…Allow yourself to sometimes feel weak, trust me, it will make you stronger!

Silence – The Loudest Whisper

Probably the most painful whisper is silence, it speaks so much louder and clearer than words ever will! Silence can speak a thousand words, can express a whole story. To be expressive about yourself doesn’t always have to be in words. 

You cannot use words to speak about your pain or scars because you may have been through so much that the expression of pain can only be explained to someone through silence..

You never know when you hurt someone so much , that they almost give up expressing themselves to an extent that you may never hear from them again, their emotions, their feelings…nothing! They just exist around you rather than feeling alive! You need to be aware of such people who talk and express themselves wholly from their hearts.. through their inner voice without a single expression of words. Their silence may talk about some hidden wounds, scars… memories, times they were hurt, feelings of non- existence…

‘Ouch! This hurts!’..they say, yes they do, we as their friends or family, must be there for them…just listen, lend them your ears, that is probably the only thing they want..your presence! You can help such people grow and feel better about themselves. We never know what scarred them and we don’t have to ..we need to make them feel themselves, feel their whole self…

We need to be there for these people by just being there, no extra efforts needed and yet you are doing for them the biggest of favours!